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Two great things came into my life this weekend.
The first was the arrival of a package of long anticipated books from amazon.com in the U.S. Included in this bundle was a book by the international bestseller "SARK" in which 3 whole pages had been dedicated to a friend of mine, Leonie Allan.
The other item that popped up during the weekend was the movie "Diving Bell and the Butterfly" which if I needed to sumarize in one word would be inspiring.
Based on the book of the same name, the movie documents one man as he comes to term with being in "locked-in-syndrome" which for us is basically full paralysis after a severe stroke. Thanks for the skill and patience of several nurses the man leans to communicate through a single eye by blinking for yes/no or letters of the alphabet. He then sets about writting a novel based on his experience of being trapped in his own body.
The cinematography was insanely clever and all delivered in such a way as you feel part of the mans mind. It is a truly touching story and worth checking out.
Both items, the book and movie, although completly different genre's are actually similar - they are both about overcoming obstacles to write. I walked away from the movie thinking "if he can manage to write a entire book one letter at a time, I can surely find time to write too" so I did. I trawled across pages and pages of my leather journal allowing my mind to empty through the pen. I realised how angry I was about a few things and explored that freely. I didn't filter. I swore. I vented. I slowly felt better.I know I love to write but I often allow myself to fill my days so that I have no time nor privacy to write freely. This could so easily be changed in my life. This is something I will explore further.
Yep, it has been a week of no red meat and no chicken.I'm still eating fish - its all about baby steps.I also confessed to Ben yesterday (that's right, 6 days and he had not even noticed, lol) and he wasn't too happy about it. In Ben's mind being vegetarian for a girl is about weight loss rather then respect for the animals. I explained to him, and highlighted that he knows how I feel towards animals. I mean I cry during episodes of RSPCA for crying out loud! I explained it just didn't make sense for us to get so attached to our dog to the point that I was ready to black eye someone who corrected him with a check-chain, and then turn a blind eye on the things that happen in the meat production process.He had not retort so I think I may of safely explained my reasons. Of course it now means that every meal time he says "How about steak?" or some other red meat just to test me. Typical boy, lol!I feel fine. I have come down with a cold but I don't think it is related. That is more to do with rushing around to job interviews outside work hours, riding in the rain across the city or in the bitter morning cold.My sister experimented with going vego not long ago but ended up back on meat as it left her too ungrounded. That is why I have left fish in my diet for now. I want to make it gradual rather then a all or nothing approach and it seems to be working so far.I've noticed I don't crave meat but I do crave the fullness feeling you get from meat, from the protein in meat. As a result I've increased the ammount of pasta and dairy I normally eat to achieve this. I ate no pasta before so the increase is just back to eating it. Dairy, I just eat cheese more then I used too to keep myself full. I need to look into other ways of getting my protein requirements.The big test will come tonight when I have my training session. My personal trainer I see once a week and he works me pretty hard. If my body is not fueled properply I've got nothing and struggle through the whole session. If I am eating and drinking well then I handle it much better.Yay to me for achieving 1 week!
Inspired by Suzi BluI am worthy
I am worthy of a great new job with new exciting and inspiring people and fabulous clients
I am worthy of a beautiful wedding filled with people I love
I am worthy of a sacred and memorable bachelorette weekend
I am worthy of close friends who I trust and cherish
I am worthy of love and deep passion
I am worthy of time and choosing to spend my time how I feel
I am worthy of safety, security and prosperity
I am worthy of abundance
I am worthy
(Louisa, my sister, and me)
I have been contemplating friends recently....close friends....best buddies in fact...and where that sits in my life.
When I got engaged (almost 2 years ago...) I knew instantly that standing closest to me as I said my "I-do's," aside from my beloved, I wanted my little sister. We don't usually describe ourselves as close...because I don't really have a reference point for that...but in fact I think we are just that.
We live close together geographically...even co-habitat-ed for about 2 years.
We speak at least once a week...usually more like 2 or 3 times.
All family events we organise together.
We complain about our parents to each other...about our jobs or our love life.
Spiritually we are different but the same...often reading the same books or attending similar workshops.
Our lives often tend to run in a strange parrellel...for example...I began doing spiritual dance...without telling her she came across something similar and began doing it too....she changed jobs last month...I am looking to do the same this month...on and on it goes.
I love her dearly and do all that I can to see her glowing smile or hear her witchy cackle.
But what of sisters who are not biologically related? Those sisters who are friends....deep friends...who have seen you through thick and thin and more.
This area has always been hard for me to draw a ring around because my background was/is to move allot, often leaving close bonds behind and trying to forge new ones....only to move once again and so the cycle goes for me.
None of my close friends are local...they all live outside of Sydney....and this often means I feel a deep disconnection to my female friends...and deep lonliness.
But then I realised that if I wanted closer (both spiritually and geographically) friends I needed to be open to recieving them in my life....and/or.....creating them in my life.
I looked around at the women who I knew...there were allot....but if I looked for the ones I could say already had some areas of closeness...there were allot less. I could count them on one hand...perhaps even one finger.
Could it be though that what I wanted has been under my nose waiting for me to nuture it?
I decided to take a positive step forward and confide in one of my not-so-close-friends a deep secret that I had held tight and sat between me and her like a void...I decided to take a step in bringing this woman...ever so slowly...closer into my life.
It seemed to have worked and now I sit feeling warm and smiling on the inside.
Baby steps. I'm all about baby steps this month.
After re-reading "Quantum Wellness" plus watching the interviews with Kathy on Oprah to say I was motivated was an understatement. I wanted to purge meat from life once and for all but I also knew I needed to be realistic about it.
My first obstacle would be MM (my mere male) as he is the biggest carnivore that I know. He see's vegetarian eating in a negative light.
2nd obstacle was my rather poor eating habits. Now I don't eat much "junk" food but I do eat out allot and in Granville that is meat, meat and more meat.
Taking Kathy's advice I decided not to jump in the deep end but to wade in the middle of the pool...so I opted to cut out read meat and chicken (chicken is the easiest to give up as I always felt kind of yuk eating it anyway). Whenever I ordered a sambo from the shop I got salad, or tuna. It felt good to know that I was contributing to helping the animals in a small way.
The biggest test came Saturday night as I had dinner with some girlfriends, Lisa and Guy.
Guy is a vegetarian anyway, but Lisa is all carnivore. This was the first restaurant meal under my own new rules and I am proud to admit I stuck to my guns.
I didn't even read what was in the meat dishes or what they were...I skimmed the menu looking for vego or fish meals and opted for the fish meals.
During dinner the topic of being a vegetarian came up in regards to people who say vego but then eat white meat, or some red meats, etc. This was my chance to voice my new life style.
"I don't say I'm vegetarian but I don't eat red meat or chicken - so I guess I am veg-aquarium, ha, ha."
The girls laughed and thought nothing of it. I sat smiling proud of my statement. Proud I had taken action.
In regards to the MM he has yet to notice. We all know men are far from observant. Last night even as I cooked him a meat pie and vegies but made myself some fish, he did not say a word. I will need to face up to it at some point but for now, its all baby steps.
Check out this beautiful piece of writing by Jeff on being a vegan.
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Oprah talks to Kathy Preston on her Soul Series - have a listen as Oprah talks about becoming vegetarian.
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It is difficult to explore the world of self help and/or non-fiction books and not come across Hay House Publishing. Hay House is behind names such as Doreen Virtue, Dwayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, on and on the list goes.
Hay House was founded by Louise Hay, also an author and responsible for one of the worlds most influential books "You can Heal Your Life." In 2008 Hay House also released the DVD version of "You can Heal Your Life" which included interviews with various influential people from around the world and also gave us some insight into the life of this remarkable woman.
A few months ago I got a excited call from a close friend of mine, Leonie, saying Louise Hay was coming to Australia and their was a private screening event on in which you could meet her in person. Of course I said yes to going and so our count down began.
The week of the event for me was one of high stress and chaos. I had attended 3 job interviews, had also squeezed in my personal training session, 2 sessions of boot camp, plus we had my Dad staying with us for the entire week. I was exhausted but excited.
The event was held at the Dendy Circular Quay cinema in which the entire cinema was closed off for the event. We received goody bags upon arriving which included the DVD, the book, affirmation cards and a small book called "Power Thoughts" which I now keep on my desk.
We had a brief glimpse of Louise as she entered the foyer then moved downstairs to begin singing books. Leonie and I enjoyed observing the general splendor, eating pumpkin wontons and mini-burgers, and inching closer and closer to the super star. We formed plans on what to say, how to stand and promised ourselves we would not giggle wildly upon meeting her.
Pic taken by Leonie while in the queue
As we got closer we remarked on how beautiful Louise was and how deeply she connected with each and every person she met in line. She looked deep into their eyes, smiled warmly and listenend to their story. Leonie termed it as being present. Louise was deeply present.
Unfortunaltey Leonie and I did not get to meet her that night. We were 3 people from touching this star when the organisers declared it was time to start the movie and it couldn't be late. They led Louise away...not before Leonie snuck in a personal gift for Louise....and then we took our seats.
I did not feel dissappointed as the whole night had already been a blast. It would have been great to hug her but at the same time I knew inside that the people who needed it most recieved it. I was happy being the outside observer.
As I doubled Leonie back to my house (2 girls on a vespa crossing the city - woot!) I thought back to Louise and her beautiful pleasant face. I am honored that I witness her first hand.
Thank you universe!
I've been reading "Quantum Wellness" by Kathy Freston - somewhat slowly but consistently.
For several chapters now Kathy has been peeling back my somewhat naive few of the meat trade around the world. Now I have to keep in mind that the book is American and therefore written with American corporations as examples, but it had me wondering how Australia does in terms of cruelty towards animals in the meat trade...but also trying to somewhat justify in my head using tougher Australian laws as the excuse for me to stick to my current consumer practice. Amazing how fast our ego jumps to our aid in a moral dilemma!
Until recently I was, and probably like most people in Australian, thinking that no news was good news.
However as I dug back into the memory banks I came across a story leaked to the media about cruelty to animals in the live produce export trade I had read...namely our woolly friends, sheep. For days and days sheep are packed into boats and shipped to foreign countries (namely Asia and the middle east) where the conditions during transport are so horrible that allot of the stock die before reaching the destination. Those who survive the travel are then subjected to what I can only imagine is a far from pleasant death as the stock no longer on Australian soil cannot be protected by our Australian animal laws.
Live Export Shame - read this site for more information.
So yes Australia has fairly high standards in regards to live stock...but then we simply hand over our stock and virtually say "do what you like with them" because the $$$ once again wins over the suffering of an innocent animal.
Angers me.
Saddens me and scares me.
In Kathy's book, one story had me crying...
I read about the Veal industry and slowly sank in my seat with shame. Whenever I eat out I often choose the veal due to its tenderness and generally low fat content. Kathy explained in her book the background on the Veal industry and how the meat acquires the characteristics I like so much.
"The moment they are born, veal calves (babies!) are ripped away from their mothers, all the while mooing furiously for her as she tries to follow, and confined (often with their necks chained) to a crate barely bigger then their bodies (22 by 58 inches) so that they can hardly turn around or lie down; this causes their muscles to atrophy and remain tender. For four months - the time they have on this earth until slaughter - they generally live in the dark without ever getting to suckle, play in the field, learn to walk on their wobbly legs, or do anything else but stew in their own filth. They are denied solid food to chew on and made anemic (they lick ravenously at the metal chain to get the iron that a growing calf instinctively craves) so that their flesh stays a pale white. When they are sold at auction by dairy farmers, before being shipped to slaughter, they sometimes cannot walk and are therefore dragged. If you've ever seen a baby calf, it would break your heart to know that this innocent little creature (cattle are very gentle and affectionate by nature) must endure such an awful fate as to be designated veal."
After reading the above extract I had to stop for awhile and let me emotions settle. I silently vowed never to eat veal ever again.
I had memory flashes of calves I helped hand raise on my grandfathers farm. Their furious sucking on my fingers as we tempted them towards a bucked of milk. Their beautiful brown eyes and generally playful nature.
I recalled going to petting zoo's with my man and his daughter and feeding calves straw and grass laughing as their giant tongues wrapped around our hands leaving them covered in slobber.
I then remembered the last veal dish I ate a restaurant...and felt ill.
Not to drop momentum the book continues on describing poor practices in the chicken industry (including eggs), beef, all bird stock and even seafood.
Kathy wasn't just promoting a move to being vego...but to full blown vegan. Intimidating to say the least!
Of course their are instructions on baby steps. The first being a simple awareness, and/or thought, before consuming animals products on where the products came from.
I have adopted this principle at a 75% rate so far. I say 75% because I do really well during the day but then I get home late at night and eat the quickest thing I can prepare which last night was 'bangers and mash'...the night before was a chicken burger...on and on it goes.
I can go all day without meat (purely from the above story as motivation)....but once I get tired...or home late...KAPOW! The end of my hard work.
I am happy to be more aware of where my food comes from and I am thankful to Kathy's book for sharing her knowledge with the public. Yes in Australia we tend to just say "not out problem" knowing that it is near impossible for cruelty acts to occur without being notice nationally...however...they still occur around the world and probably in the country un-detected, which is what I will choose to remind myself of each time I reach for a animal product.
Kathy's book can be found at your local bookstore or on Amazon; Quantum Wellness
2008 was suppose to be a gradual build up to my wedding in November with nothing else on the horizon until that was done.
The year had other plans.
In April I started studying to be a naturalpath via distance education. The material for me is extremely engaging but the time commitment will always he tough while I continue to wear many hats in my life.
Around the same time I began training for the OXFAM Trailwalker - a 100km endurance event to raise money for charity. Thankfully the universe thought it best I don't compete. Gradually each of my team members withdrew until I was the lone-warrior...and then I even stepped aside realizing this year had too much on and I wouldn't be able to squeeze more in.
My freelance design work continues to plod along. Usually back to back clients - currently working on a website for a personal trainer in QLD.
On the work front, I got promoted into a new management structure which has bought on a reaction to seek work elsewhere. My official hunt began only 2 weeks ago but I have already had 4 agency interviews, 3 job interviews and 1 firm offer. I'm told this week 2 jobs will ask for a 2nd round interview..plus...I'm meeting a new company tomorrow...Sydney's most prestigious and successful advertising company...gulp!
Interview feedback has all been positive thus far.
My family all came to stay over the weekend as we decided to attend Phantom of the Opera as a group. Over the weekend I revealed my plans to find a new job but although the family was generally supportive, massive seeds of doubt were planted.
What if I was leaving right when the company I worked for was about the turn around and achieve all its goals? What if i regretted leaving? What if leaving caused the company to fall?
As my dad phrased it, "It ain't over till your boss sings...and he ain't going to sing" basically meaning he had little faith I would withstand the companies attempt to make me stay.
Up until this conversation I had been 100% focused on relocating and did my best to push through fatigue attending interviews so the process would be done quickly....but now gloom loomed on the horizon.
This morning I pondered the issue as I sat on the train. If I stayed or went, what would happen?
Yes I risked missing out on an opportunity of riding the company's growth...if it happenend...but if I left...what amazing adventures wait for me on the other side of the door? So far I have met with some extremely talented companies...some extremely large and glamourous companies...and the interviews have all gone well....one even put forward an offer.
8 years now I have stayed within these walls too scared to step out and determine my own worth in the market place...8 long years of feeling trapped....but now I know the time has come to step outside and proclaim to the world that I am ready!
So 2008 may also include a job change for me...3 months from my wedding!
For the record, I now declare that 2009 will be the year of rest...please.....?!
