Sister-hood

(Louisa, my sister, and me)

I have been contemplating friends recently....close friends....best buddies in fact...and where that sits in my life.

When I got engaged (almost 2 years ago...) I knew instantly that standing closest to me as I said my "I-do's," aside from my beloved, I wanted my little sister. We don't usually describe ourselves as close...because I don't really have a reference point for that...but in fact I think we are just that.

We live close together geographically...even co-habitat-ed for about 2 years.
We speak at least once a week...usually more like 2 or 3 times.
All family events we organise together.
We complain about our parents to each other...about our jobs or our love life.
Spiritually we are different but the same...often reading the same books or attending similar workshops.
Our lives often tend to run in a strange parrellel...for example...I began doing spiritual dance...without telling her she came across something similar and began doing it too....she changed jobs last month...I am looking to do the same this month...on and on it goes.

I love her dearly and do all that I can to see her glowing smile or hear her witchy cackle.

But what of sisters who are not biologically related? Those sisters who are friends....deep friends...who have seen you through thick and thin and more.

This area has always been hard for me to draw a ring around because my background was/is to move allot, often leaving close bonds behind and trying to forge new ones....only to move once again and so the cycle goes for me.

None of my close friends are local...they all live outside of Sydney....and this often means I feel a deep disconnection to my female friends...and deep lonliness.

But then I realised that if I wanted closer (both spiritually and geographically) friends I needed to be open to recieving them in my life....and/or.....creating them in my life.

I looked around at the women who I knew...there were allot....but if I looked for the ones I could say already had some areas of closeness...there were allot less. I could count them on one hand...perhaps even one finger.

Could it be though that what I wanted has been under my nose waiting for me to nuture it?

I decided to take a positive step forward and confide in one of my not-so-close-friends a deep secret that I had held tight and sat between me and her like a void...I decided to take a step in bringing this woman...ever so slowly...closer into my life.

It seemed to have worked and now I sit feeling warm and smiling on the inside.

Baby steps. I'm all about baby steps this month.